For the first few years after embracing Witchcraft and Paganism, I reveled in the Magick. During those years, I had fun with it. I enjoyed practicing Spells and I was gratified to see them work. Naturally, they did not always work the way I had anticipated but the short-term results were usually close to what I had intended.
I was always careful with my Spells so that I would honor the rule, 'An it harm none', but seeing how effective Magick was in bringing about change, made me bolder. In retrospect, perhaps I was a bit arrogant or cavalier in my approach to performing Spells.
One month, when I was broke and needed money, I did a little spell that worked quickly; a few days later someone from a local bank phoned me and offered me a credit card. Naturally, I said, "Yes. Thank you." For almost two years, whenever I was in financial need and I did a spell, I was offered more credit in the form of new credit cards or increases in how much credit I was allowed to run up on my existing cards.
Truthfully, most of the credit was spent on other people; I enjoyed being able to buy nice, indulgent gifts for my family and friends. This does not excuse irresponsible spending but it helps to explain the reason that my shortage of money was not due to selfish greed.
One thing that I did want for myself was another car. My first car, now fully paid, was one that I had driven for about five years and my eagerness for a different car was almost unbearable. I did some Magick, and then searched for the perfect car, which I found. I successfully applied for vehicle finance and bought the car, which I even managed to drive for a few blissful months before my debt overwhelmed me and I had to give it back to the bank.
At the time, I did not realize that I was forgetting something important, and by the time the consequences of my Magick returned to me, it was too late. Magick can affect the mundane world but there are logical, mundane consequences in the mundane world.
It may be easy for others to shrug off my belief in Magick and say that I would have been offered the credit anyway but the timing of the credit granting was always consistent with the Magick.
Over the period during which I was digging myself into a financial quagmire, I also did Spells to effect changes within myself. These also worked, but in a different way, and the consequences were just as devastating. I wanted to have better self-discipline and will power and I did a few Spells to help me with that; it was not like flipping a switch and suddenly having newfound traits but these traits definitely grew stronger over a relatively short period. I used my improved will power to help curb my irresponsible spending. Of course, this was all a bit too little a bit too late because I had already incurred so much debt. A few months later, I was going through some extreme stress and went for a jog out of desperation to do something and anything to avoid sitting at home and thinking.
When I returned from my little jog, I felt much better. I decided right away to embark on a regime of regular exercise. Unlike every other time in my life, this time I was able to stick to a schedule of regular exercise, and I put this down to being an effect of the Spell.
Wanting another quick fix to my stress and problems in life, I did another few Spells with the intention of bringing Change into my life. It is entirely possible that I was not specific enough in my intention or execution of the Spells but they did seem to work; soon I was living a healthier life. I was exercising everyday and I was on a healthy eating plan.
At the time, I did not realize that I was forgetting something important, and by the time the consequences of my Magick returned to me, it was too late. I have an obsessive and somewhat addictive nature; coupled with more discipline and will power, it took a few months to develop an eating disorder that would endure for years.
It may be easy for others to shrug off my belief in Magick and say that my improved self-discipline and will power were the result of my mind but the truth is that I have never liked exercising and I had never dieted before; my ability to take both of these to such extreme was not an entirely natural inclination.
The ripples of my Magick had spread beyond my ability to foresee and my life spiraled out of control until all I had was my Spirituality, and it was to this that I clung in my struggle to regain my equilibrium.
I learned, the hard way, that Magick is not, nor should it ever be, a quick fix solution to problems in life. Being wary of doing more Spells, I let the consequences of past choices and actions run their natural course, and turned my focus more to the Spirituality of being a Witch. It took me a long time to develop the confidence needed to do Spell-work again. At first, my Spells did not work and I knew that it was my fear that was blocking the energy so I stopped doing Spells until I had overcome my fear.
The reverence I learned for the practice of Magick is something that will remain with me for the rest of my life. Unemployed and recovering from my eating disorder, I eventually had the courage to do a Spell; and it worked. The careful planning, forethought and weeks of consideration for all possible consequences - mundane, personal and Magickal - resulted in a powerful, fast working Spell that has wrought change for the better in my life.
Doing Spells can be exciting and fun, as long as they are done with proper thought, planning, knowledge and responsibility they can help to enrich life.
I am not sure who coined the phrase that has become one of my mottos:
"Just because you can doesn't mean you should."
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