"Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames." -Rumi
Theoretically, I do love people, all people. It is the practicality where I sometimes struggle. It's easy to visualize love raining down on everyone, when I sit in my living room, or lie in my bed. It is another story when I walk into Service Ontario and find myself to be 35th person in line. This is a bit more challenging. Call me crazy, but crowds of hot, disgruntled people make me feel overstimulated and icky.
Life has taught me to surrender, that the only thing that I have any control over is my reactions and attitudes. I am powerless over how life decides to unfold. At one time, finding myself at the end of that line would have sent me right around the bend. I would have tried to cope with my anxious feelings by being angry because for many of us, anger feels safer and is somehow more socially acceptable than fear/anxiety at our powerlessness. I would have spent the time in line seething over the fact that I shouldn't even have to be there if my stickers had come in the mail like they were supposed to. I would have reinforced the story that I am too busy and too important to have to stand in a line like that by repeating it to myself and to anyone else who wanted to hear it (and even some that didn't want to hear it), as I waited. If I was cranky that day, I might have hung onto it as a great excuse for being miserable for the rest of the afternoon. Instead, I made a decision to remain present and open. I stuck my earbuds in and put on some Bob Marley to give me some positive ju ju. I then looked around at the other people, while I made a conscious effort to stay open to whatever emotion that they displayed without judging them for it. Even though there were some people who were far more likable than others, I tried to send a blessing to each of them. In order to practice inclusion, I have been working toward sending positivity to those that I feel aversion to as well as those that I like. By reframing the experience (choosing my attitude about it), I found that the line moved pretty quickly, my teller was friendly and helpful, and I was out of there before I knew it and ready enjoy the rest of my day.
When hearing of a shooting spree or a bombing, I have always prayed for the victims of the tragedy, and for their families. A few years ago, I started praying for the parents of the perpetrators too. Lately, I have begun working on trying to find some compassion for the killers themselves. I am only able to accomplish this in the theoretical, but if I continue to grow, I hope to eventually become compassionate enough to embrace those who stand past the fringe, the ones who stand outside of the circle of humanity. Ironically, as we are able to develop compassion for those people on the outside of the circle, we progress closer to the center of it.
I am learning that for me, this path of growth is more about letting go of conditioning that blocks my ability to see clearly, than it is about attaining higher knowledge and meaning. It becomes more about releasing preconceived notions, than it is about attaining something new. When I stumble upon a Truth, and think, "Of course!" it feels more like I have remembered something that I always knew but I just couldn't see clearly yet. It is that moment when the theoretical meets practical and what is gained is experiential knowledge.
I feel that we grow and evolve as human beings, and as spirit, in concentric rings that move closer to the center of ourselves and closer to the center of humanity as we progress. The center is where people are able to remain open to all others, under all conditions. This is where the prophets like Jesus, Muhammad, and Buddha are, and that we each are evolving toward. The center is the creative field that Rumi refers to, the Source. There are many Gods that belong to many faiths, but WICCANs believe that All Gods Are One. The closer that we get to The Source, the more Unity that we experience. It is pure, primordial energy, and where the fire of creation is. It takes wisdom, faith, stamina, and determination to get back to knowledge. It is where we all started and where we will all end up again, as we continue in our eternal journey. The Gnostics call this the Godhead, where we were each once spit out as individual sparks with the sole purpose of gathering practical experience before returning and rejoining containing the knowledge and experiences that we have gathered on our quests to return home.
Practical knowledge as opposed to theoretical, is experienced. It is the knowledge of the mother Goddess, feminine, creation, love. By containing this knowledge and returning to pure theory, father, wisdom, we (who are verb,action, experience) merge the masculine and the feminine to complete the circle. It takes limitless love, compassion, and acceptance to get there. That is why we are able to learn and grow and evolve toward this at our own pace. Individually and collectively, we progress through different stages of development toward awakening. We do have a choice about how quickly or slowly that we progress toward this center. We can always arrest our development, and refuse to grow any further, at any moment. This is what happens when we dig in our heels about something and choose to remain stuck. Sometimes it is what happens when we become impatient with God's plan for us and are chomping at the bit to change too much too soon. Insisting upon movement when the Universe asks for stillness creates delays just the same. It is unwillingness to surrender to what is. When we see ourselves as separate, small and victimized, we move away from center. We master these lessons throughout our lives as we work our way through our challenges and issues. Think about some of the situations that you experienced as a youngster that caused you so much pain, yet they seem so insignificant and silly now. Each time that we master a lesson or learn a truth, we become more powerful and gain confidence in our ability to endure, survive, and to thrive. Some people decide that they have done enough growing in this life and choose to dally behind in the depression of inertia. To opt out or live on autopilot, because it is easier, always leads to suffering. We can resist, but eventually we all tire of the suffering and will decide to wake up.
When we stop resisting and move toward our centers, we allow life to unfold without too much interference and all of the experiences and opportunities for us to learn whatever we need appear. We all learn life lessons and make mistakes as we progress on our journeys, but none so big as to compete with the stagnation that happens when we refuse to open ourselves to new experiences, people, ideas, and concepts. I believe that we open ourselves in layers (fractals). While we each approach center with each issue that we encounter and master, we simultaneously do the same in the bigger picture throughout our life (impacting situations around us), while doing it throughout a series of lifetimes (impacting the collective conscious). I think that this is why the pictograph for life is a spiral and since what happens in one, happens in the whole. Each time that any of us masters a life lesson, (which really boils down to choosing Love or not) the rest of us move a little closer to center too.
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