As most of you know, everything starts with the aces. Some qabalists even place the four aces in Keter on the Tree of Life. She told me the ace was the primary emotional impulse. Then she revealed how that emotion manifested through the court cards and which one 'lost' understanding. Fascinating. Maybe, I will post more on that someday.
I am fascinated by the primal emotion. The first emotional impulse. She told me that impulse is the need for unity. I thought that she was talking to just me. Surely there must be other primary impulses for other people. Then as I looked to the cards that represent the decay of that impulse or its state of corruption, I began to see things in a new light.
I stopped to consider the missteps of those I've seen around me as well as my own. Memories of the emotionally painful things that happened in my life and those I've witnessed, center on reactions to the emotional need for unity.
Do you remember high school cliques? At a time when we are becoming actualized individuals away from 24/7 supervision from our parents, we get mean. The loss of 'unity' with our parents causes us to create a false unity with our friends, who are all desperately trying to be unique by dressing the same way. Those that are different are ridiculed, marginalized and minimized.
The reject that dyes her hair fourteen different colors at puts rings through her nose is trying to embrace that she is different. Yet all she is doing is putting up a large red lettered sign saying, "I am separate and I hurt."
Think of the spouse that is cheated upon. The pain doesn't come from fifteen minutes of someone else's pleasure. It comes from an emotional loss of unity with their loved one.
Think of religions that degrade other religions. I've always been amused that most of the time these attacks target the people most like them. One look at all the Christian sects proves the point. They are saying we are in unity with "God". They are different and therefore represent disunity. Yet, the fail to see it is their rejection of others causes the own fear.
People lie at work so they stay unified to their bosses. They don't want to face the fact that they are the only one in the meeting to have made a mistake. That would make the separate from the whole.
The examples go on and on.
I've always thought I was out of touch with my emotional life. Yet, I've always craved spiritual unity. I live in a conscious quest for that unity. Perhaps, I've been embracing the one emotion that lay at the core of all the others.
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