When a person is aggrieved they will often experience a range of negative emotions which may include embarrassment, low self-esteem, anger, sadness, shame, humiliation, and self doubt - these emotions do not only affect us psychologically but physically too - by holding on to these painful emotions we cause further harm to ourselves. Our rational thought processes become overwhelmed and we react based on our feelings and attitudes. The question becomes how can we deal with this in a constructive way?
Some witches deal with negative emotions through writing, take a piece of paper and write about how you feel, giving reasons why you believe you have been hurt or wronged. Once you've finished writing burn the paper along with herbs of Banishment such as Rue, Black Peppercorns, Sulphur or Rosemary. The important part of this exercise is to express your emotions. This form of expression can help ground us, and we can look at the situation again from a more detached and calm place.
The next step in the healing process comes by putting ourselves into the position of the person who caused us harm and trying to understand what their motivation.
We can contemplate our attitudes and ideas, and in the process learn more about ourselves. By understanding a situation we take back control, and we can once again make our choices based on rational thought processes rather than being ruled by emotion and negative attitudes. Once we identify our attitudes, thoughts and behaviours we can begin on bringing about needed change.
To help this contemplation, a walk outside can do you a power of good, find a quiet place and tell your woes to nature, speak out loud and let your words be absorbed by the spirit of those around you. Allow your worries to be carried away on the wind, and draw strength from the earth beneath you. Spending time outside like this can be a very calming and positive experience.
The final stage is forgiveness, some people may feel that this is impossible to achieve, however forgiving someone does not mean that their actions were acceptable. Forgiveness means that you are no longer going to allow the person or energies associated with them to have any control over you.
Express your feelings - Contemplate both sides of the situation - identify life lessons - release and move on.
(c) Dawn Gribble www.paganmagic.co.uk
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