For example, I am a single mother of four children all school age. (Actually, I have five living in my home but that's a story for another time.) The role I have in my home is going to be different than that of a married couple who just had their first baby.
As a Pagan, I follow Goddess-based spirituality mixed with witchcraft, ceremonial magick, dark magick, and Eastern philosophy. My spiritual practice is going to different than a domestic witch who follows Gardernian Wicca. His spiritual practice is going to be different than a Celtic Pagan who is also influenced by shamanism.
We all will differ even further when it comes to our magickal practice. Some don't practice magick at all. A Gardnerian Witch would approach a disturbance in the home far different than a Shamanic Celtic Pagan. Their spiritual beliefs, rituals, and techniques of magick will vary greatly even though they have the exact same goal.
You also have to take into consideration what your magickal strengths and weaknesses are. For example, I have never been able to keep a plant alive so growing an herb garden isn't a realistic goal for me. Even if I could keep a plant alive, doing small indoor containers is an issue for me because I have two dogs and several cats that would probably destroy my efforts. However, I do have strengths using candle magick and aromatherapy. So it's no surprise that there are scented candles throughout my house. I also have always enjoyed reading tarot cards and I know if I took a minute to draw a card every morning I might be better prepared for what the day will bring.
You Are Always Pagan Enough
While it may seem odd to say this, I don't want this series to be about me telling you what you "must" do to be a domestic pagan. Let me explain. There's nothing I hate more than My goal is to help you to decide what your needs are, what your goals are, and give you suggestions on how you can achieve them. This series is about DOING! This is the reason I am going to be doing the things I blog about in this series. Magick is about doing! I think one of the biggest mistakes most of us make is we collect enough info to fill a Book of Shadows (maybe even several) but how much do we actually DO?
And let's face it! As CEOs of our households, if we don't DO what needs done, our entire home, family, and schedule turns into complete and utter chaos. Our entire domestic life is about DOING! Even though it is about doing, running a household takes planning. It means making choices that address your own houehold's wants and needs. The best way to do this is by setting goals.
WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS?
I'm going to start this series by giving you ten questions for you to answer. If you can answer these questions with your significant other and kids, even better! I will answer them myself as well in a follow up post. This one is already a bit long. Feel free to share your answers in the comments.
1. WHAT IS HAPPENING IN YOUR FAMILY OR HOME THAT IS GOING WELL? List all the positive things that you can think of, no matter how little or small. Have you had any major accomplishments both personally or as a family? What are you proud of?
2. WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR FAMILY OR HOME THAT NEEDS IMPROVEMENT?
Again list everything you can think of no matter how big or small. Are the kids misbehaving? Is your romantic married life in a slump? Do you wish you had more time to do family activities?
3. WHAT IS YOUR IDEAL FAMILY AND HOME SITUATION?
Write whatever comes to mind, even if it seems outrageous or silly. Do you wish you had a mansion? Do you wish your husband was more romantic? Do you wish you had a nanny and a maid?
4. TAKE THAT IDEAL SITUATION AND BREAK IT DOWN INTO GOALS. For example, if you said your ideal situation is to have a maid, but you can't actually afford it then your goal might be to adjust your budget so you can or maybe just have your spouse or kids help out around the house. If your ideal home is a million dollar mansion, but you live in a studio apartment, your goal might be to make your apartment feel more luxurious. Would having new bedding or adding a some decor help you achieve that? Sometimes even though are goals are lofty, we have to start small.
5. WHAT MUNDANE EFFORTS ARE YOU MAKING OR DO YOU PLAN TO MAKE TO ACHIEVE THESE GOALS? While I have no problem with someone using magick to help them achieve their goals we simply aren't Samantha from Bewitched. We can't just wiggle our nose and instantly clean our house. Running a household and taking care of a family involves doing a lot of mundane activities.
*NOTE* HERE'S WHERE OUR PATHS DIVERGE. There are generally three groups of Witches, Wiccans, and Pagans. Those that do magick and spirituality. Those that just do spirituality. And those that just do magick. Decide where you fit and answer the questions that are specific to your personal path.
6. WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE MAKES DOMESTIC ACTIVITY SPIRITUAL? Why is cleaning your house a spiritual activity? What does cooking dinner for your family do for them spiritually? What is the spiritual dimension to the role you have in your household?
7. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT MAKES YOUR EVERYDAY DOMESTIC ACTIVITY SPIRITUAL? Like before I want you to list all the postive things you are already doing.
8. WHAT COULD YOU BE DOING TO MAKE YOUR EVERYDAY DOMESTIC ACTIVITY MORE SPIRITUAL? Would you like to start saying a prayer to God/dess at mealtimes? Maybe you want to begin teaching your children about your spiritual path. Perhaps you want to learn how to enjoy doing housework. Maybe you want to adopt a simple living lifestyle. It's okay if you don't know the answer to this now. You may simply want to learn how to be more spiritual in your daily life.
9. USING THE ANSWERS TO THE THREE PREVIOUS QUESTIONS ABOUT SPIRITUALITY, MAKE A LIST OF YOUR SPIRITUAL GOALS REGARDING YOUR DOMESTIC ACTIVITY. Like before, if you have lofty goals you are probably going to need to start small. For example, if you want to create a meditation room but don't have an extra room available, you may need to start with a meditation pillow in the corner of your bedroom.
10. FOR THOSE THAT PRACTICE MAGICK, WHAT CAN YOU DO MAGICKALLY TO ACHIEVE THE DOMESTIC GOALS YOU HAVE CHOSEN? You might not know the answer to this right now. You may need to do some research. For example, my children tend to fight a lot. What can I do to promote peace in my home? My first thought is relaxing aromatherapy candles and color therapy. Perhaps I need to paint my kitchen a more soothing color? I must add a word of caution here, sometimes there isn't a magickal solution.
Sources: The Way of the Hedge Witch by Arin Murphy-Hiscock, Zen and the Art of Housekeeping by Lauren Cassel Brownell, The Emotional House by Dawn Ritchie and Kathryn L. Robyn
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